Roller Coaster
by BansheeFromHell
Summary: Welcome to the insane roller coaster that is my life.. Hope you enjoy the ride... Germany/OC Human names used.
1. Chapter 1

**Banshee: Hello~! I have another new story~! I know, I have several more stories still going, but I'm on a MAJOR Hetalia fix right now.. Plus, it'll help me get out of my writer's block.. Don't worry, I'm still working on everything else. This new story features a new OC, Roxanne. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I ownly own my OC and the plot.**

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><p>Chapter One<p>

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><p>Hi. My name is Roxanne Davis. I was born and raised in America, and grew up living right next door to Alfred Jones, who happens to be my best friend since childhood. As far as height goes, I only go up to Alfred's shoulders; a fact the smug burger-eating bastard won't let me forget. My weight is none of your business. My body type? According to Alfred, I am 'smoking hot,' with 'orange-sized boobs.' Yup. That's <em>exactly<em> how he put it. As embarrassing as that was, what made it even worse was the fact that he said that right in front of the other nations. Thanks to that moron, the others can't have a conversation with me without throwing in an orange joke.

I am a redhead. Before you ask, yes, it's my natural hair color. If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me that, I'd be a millionaire. My hair goes down to my shoulders, and I keep it in a messy ponytail for most of the time so it stays out of my face. My eyes are green, and my skin is lightly tanned.

As far as my personality goes, I am, as Alfred put it, a 'cool chick.' I don't anger easily, and when I _do_ get angry people tell me that I'm as scary as Ivan. For that reason, everyone tries to stay on my good side. People also say that I have the patience of a saint; I would have to be in order to deal with Alfred. I'm afraid of ghosts, and that's a fear that burger-boy always exploits by picking out ghost movies on scary movie night and making the 'boooooo~' noise when it's dark. I am serious about my work, even if I don't like it, which is almost always the case at my current place of employment. I can manage my time well, and always get my work done on time. Despite my seriousness, I _do_ like to have fun; I wouldn't spend a good portion of my time around Alfred if I wasn't a fun person. I love going to amusement parks and playing video games, and I also like going to parties. I'm not much of a drinker, and when I do, I get drunk very easily. According to Alfred, I am an angry drunk. My weakness? Kittens. Tiny, adorable, fuzzy kittens. As far as my appetite goes, I am not a picky eater. I eat everything that is put in front of me; even Arthur's scones, which led everyone to believe that my stomach is made of steel. Who knows? It probably is.

My hobbies are cleaning (believe it or not, you can enjoy cleaning), baking, window shopping, and reading books while listening to orchestra music.

Okay. Introduction's over. Moving on.

"Buongiorno, mia bella rossa~! Time'a to get up~!"

I groaned tiredly as Feliciano jumped on me, whining for me to get up in Italian. Knowing he wouldn't leave me alone until I got out of bed, I did so, pushing him out of my room so I could get ready for work.

I was originally working for Alfred, but he sent me to Germany before either of the wars started. It wasn't that bad. My position required me to learn a bunch of different languages, and German was one of them; I also know a bit of French, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, Italian and Russian - just a bit, though. I mostly know German, Italian and Japanese thanks to my time with the Axis. I was able to get a job at a library. I work part time there, and I like it because it's quiet, and I get to read some books in my free time. When I'm not at the library, I am working as an assistant for one of the biggest tight-asses in history; a German… named Ludwig Beilschmidt. He's bossy, strict, and always does things 'by the book.' He is a member of the mighty Axis Powers, along with Feliciano Vargas and Kiku Honda - scratch that. They _used_ to be the Axis Powers. The Allies won the war, and after a while everything settled down and all the nations could sit in the same room and behave civilly towards each other… for the most part, anyway. Arthur and Francis still bicker. A lot.

I am Ludwig's live-in assistant, i.e. I live and work in his house. Why, you ask? When Ludwig went off to fight the Allies, he had me watch his house and make sure everything was in order for when he got back. After a while, he had me move all my things from the apartment I was staying at, and I became a permanent guest.

Today was one of those days.. Feliciano was visiting from Italy, as he always does, because Ludwig is his 'migliore amico.'

"Oh mia bella rossa~!" Feliciano called through the door. "Hurry up~! I made a nice'a breakfast especially for you~!"

"What's for breakfast? Pasta?" I joked.

"No, silly. Waffles~!" Said Feliciano in a sing-song voice.

I got dressed in my normal work clothes; a dark red blouse, a black skirt that went down to my knees, black stockings, and black Mary-Jane's. My hair was styled in the usual messy ponytail.

As soon as I opened my door, Feliciano greeted me with his usual hug and kisses on the cheek. I'm not tall like Ludwig so it was easy for him to kiss me.

Breakfast was business as usual in Ludwig's house; no one spoke a word, and all you could hear was the small 'tink!' when the utensils touched the plates, breathing, and the sound of everyone chewing their food. Hell, you could hear a pin drop in this kind of silence. The eerie silence was soon broken, and, of course, the one to break it was Feliciano.

"Vee~, Luddy, what are we going'a to do today?" He asked.

"Zhe same thing ve do every day, Feliciano." Said Ludwig. I was half-expecting him to finish with "Try to take over zhe world!" but instead he said "Go to another conference and listen to everyone whine, complain, and bicker. Business as usual."

"If there's one thing you guys are good at, it's whining and bickering." I said.

"Keep talking like zhat Roxanne and you vill be running laps until your legs give out." Ludwig threatened.

Knowing he was serious, I tied my white napkin to my knife and waved it around in an 'I surrender!' gesture.

Finishing my breakfast quickly, I bid them all farewell and headed off to the library.

…

- At The Library -

…

I was sitting on one of the lounge chairs enjoying a book when one of my fellow librarians walked up to me. Her name was Beatrice. She is a plump German woman, presumably in her sixties, and always wears clothes that are neat and tidy; do all Germans dress like this?

"Roxanne." She said. "Zhere's a call for you."

"Really?" I asked. "From who?"

"A nice young man. Vhat vas his name again? Alphonse?"

"It's Alfred, Beatrice…"

"Oh, zhat's right. Alfred. Sorry, dear. I haven't been able to hear vell lately."

"It's okay. Thanks, Beatrice."

I walked over to the desk, where the phone was lying next to the receiver waiting to be picked up. Picking up the phone, I said, "Hello?"

"Roxy, hey!" Said Alfred.

"Hello Alfred."

"Dude, listen to this. There's this new ghost movie out that's supposed to be, like, totally _super_ scary!"

I could see him jumping up and down and waving his free arm around excitedly as he said that.

"Alright, what is it?" I asked.

"_Paranormal Activity_!"

Oh great. Another ghost movie.

"You know how much I hate ghosts, Al. I'm not watching it."

"Aw, come on Roxy~!" Alfred whined. "Don't be such a scaredy-cat!"

"I am not a scaredy-cat!"

He started singing "Roxy is a scaredy-cat~!" over and over again, knowing damn well that what would happen. Every time he resorted to taunting me with a childish song, it was only a matter of time until I gave in and did what he wanted me to do.

"All right!" I yelled. "I'll watch the stupid movie.."

"Awesome! I'll be right over! See ya, dude!"

"Jackass.." I grumbled as I hung up the phone.

Wait.. Alfred was coming here? To Germany? How would Ludwig react when he saw his former enemy sitting on his couch and watching TV? Not very well. He'll start yelling in German and kick Alfred out. Again.

I was yanked out of my thoughts when I heard a familiar voice shout from behind me, "OH MIA BELLA ROSSA~!"

Turning around, I saw, none other than, Feliciano Vargas at the library's entrance. He looked as cheery as usual, and was carrying a plastic bowl in his hands.

"Quiet, young man!" One of the librarians hissed. "Zhis is a library!"

"Mi dispiace.." He apologized. When he saw me, he grinned from ear to ear. "Oh! Bella rossa~! There'a you are~!"

"Uh.. Hello Feliciano." I greeted. "What are you doing here?"

"It's lunchtime~!" He chirped. "I brought you'a some pasta~!"

"Grazie, Feli." I said, taking the bowl.

"It's no problem~. Anything for mia bella rossa~."

"Come sei dolce." I said.

"I have'a to go back home to Italy today.." Feliciano said regretfully. "I always hate'a leaving because I don't get to see you or Luddy as much as I used to… you know, during the war…"

"Va bene, Feli." I coaxed, patting him on the shoulder. "Italy's not that far away. You can come back tomorrow, if you want."

His face lit up. "Really?"

"Naturalmente."

Feliciano was in a much better mood now, and we hugged before he left, and the brunette swore that he'd be back tomorrow.

Twenty minutes later, the pasta that Feliciano made for me was long gone and I was back to reading a book; that is, until a loud yell broke the silence.

"YO, ROXY~!"

In the doorway was Alfred. He had a big, goofy grin on his face, and he was waving his arm around like an idiot, like always.

_"How the hell did he get here so fast?"_ I thought.

"SSSHHHH!" The librarian shushed him.

"Oops. Sorry, dude." He said. "Hey Roxy, I'm here. I brought the movie~…"

He held up the DVD, waving it back and forth in front of me.

"Oh joy.." I drawled.

"Come on, hurry up!" Alfred urged, shaking me. "Let's go to Ludwig's so we can watch it! He has a DVD player, right?"

"Yes."

"Awesome!"

…

- Later That Night, In Ludwig's House -

- Normal POV -

…

Ludwig came home exhausted from a _very_ long day of work. It was no surprise that the house was dark and empty. Feliciano had gone home after staying for several days, so it was just him and Roxanne, the latter most likely in bed. He closed the door and locked it after walking in, hanging his coat on the rack.

"Roxanne, I'm home." He called out. When he received no answer, he called out again. "Roxanne? She's probably in bed.."

He took off his shoes and was heading to his room when he heard a strange sound.

_SLAM!_

"Hm? Vhat is zhat noise?"

It sounded like a door being slammed. The sound was immediately followed by a loud banging.

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

"Vhat zhe hell?"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"_

"_Roxanne?_" Ludwig exclaimed. "Roxanne, hang on! I'm coming!"

The German ran down the hall frantically, following the sound of the screaming to try and find the source. He followed the sound to the living room, and barged in, screaming at the top of his lungs, "ROXANNE!"

What he found wasn't what he was expecting. At all.

There was his assistant, sitting on the couch with the TV on, the volume on full blast, and the room pitch black. A movie was playing, but the name of the movie didn't matter at the moment. A certain American was sitting beside Roxanne, and the two were huddled together with their arms around each other, cowering in fear of the images on the television screen.

"Oh. Hey Ludwig." Roxanne said.

"'Sup, dude?" Alfred greeted nonchalantly.

"Vhat zhe hell?" Ludwig shrieked. "You're here _again_?"

"Shh!" Alfred shushed him. "Quiet, dude! It's getting good!"

"Get out of my house, now!"

"But it's scary movie night~!"

"I don't care!" Then Ludwig started yelling in German, "Kommen Sie aus meinem Haus jetzt heraus, oder ich werde meine Pistole bekommen und Ihren Kopf verjagen! Denken Sie nicht, dass ich es nicht tun werde! Ich!"

"Aber Ludwig-" Roxanne objected, but the German cut her off.

"Tun Sie nicht Sie 'aber Ludwig' ich! Ich will diesen Burger essenden Bastard aus meinem Haus!"

"Ganz richtig, fein." The redhead muttered. "Ball-Kumpel.."

"I didn't understand a word of that.." Alfred said.

"He wants you to leave or else he'll shoot your head off."

"Oh, all right.." Alfred got up, pouting. "I guess we can continue the movie some other time…"

"Sure thing. See ya Alfred."

"See ya."

Alfred grabbed the DVD and left, and Roxanne shut the door behind him.

"There. He's gone. Are you happy now?" She said.

"I vould feel better if you veren't bringing your friends into my house all zhe time."

Roxanne huffed. "Feliciano and Alfred are the only people that have been here besides us. Besides, I've told you numerous times about 'scary movie night.'"

"I don't remember you saying anyzhing about a 'scary movie night.'"

The redhead gave him a look. "Oh really?"

…

- Two Days Ago -

…

Ludwig was in his office doing paperwork when Roxanne entered the room.

She cleared her throat.

"Hey, Ludwig." She said.

"Vhat is it, Roxanne?" Ludwig inquired.

"Is it okay if Alfred comes over?" Roxanne asked. "'Scary movie night' is coming up."

The blonde waved it off. "Ja, ja, vhatever." He said. "Just make sure he doesn't make a mess like last time."

…

- Present -

…

"Hm.. It seems you _have_ said somezhing about it.. In zhat case, I apologize for my overreaction."

"You react that way every time." Roxanne pointed out. "Maybe you should start paying attention when I talk to you instead of having your face buried in paperwork."

Now it was Ludwig's turn to give her a look. "I am still your boss, you know."

"Und ich denke noch, dass Gott mich hasst." Roxanne retorted, earning a sharp look from the German.

…

…

**Buongiorno:** good morning

**mia bella rossa:** my beautiful redhead

**migliore amico:** best friend

**Mi dispiace:** I'm sorry

**Come sei dolce:** You are so sweet.

**Grazie:** Thank you

**Va bene:** It's okay

**Naturalmente:** Of course

**Kommen Sie aus meinem Haus jetzt heraus, oder ich werde meine Pistole bekommen und Ihren Kopf verjagen! Denken Sie nicht, dass ich es nicht tun werde! Ich!:** Get out of my house now, or I'll get my gun and blow your head off! Don't think I won't do it! I will!

**Aber:** but

**Tun Sie nicht Sie 'aber Ludwig' ich! Ich will diesen Burger essenden Bastard aus meinem Haus!:** Don't you 'but Ludwig' me! I want that burger-eating bastard out of my house!

**Ganz richtig, fein:** All right, fine

**Ball-Kumpel:** ball-buster

**Und ich denke noch, dass Gott mich hasst: **And I still think that God hates me


	2. Chapter 2

**Banshee: Hello~! Just one thing before we get started. I'm not exactly sure whether Ludwig's dogs are males or females; they never specified that on the wiki. So I'm going to assume they're all male. Okay? Now that that's settled, on with the show~!**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OC and the plot.**

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><p>Chapter Two<p>

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><p>The house was quiet when Roxanne woke up. This was no surprise, of course. Ludwig always woke up earlier than she did, and headed off to work, leaving her a list of things to do while he was gone. If he wasn't at work, he was in his office doing paperwork.<p>

She headed down to the kitchen for breakfast, and stopped in front of the fridge to look at the note that was pinned on the door with a magnet. It was the usual message; laundry, dishes, and tidying the house up when she get out of work, and the usual "I don't know when I'll be back" crap. Usually he comes back around dinner time, and gives me a call if he was going to be home earlier or later than normal.

"_At least he's courteous enough to let me know ahead of time."_ Roxanne thought._ "As far as the chores go, it could be worse…"_

She cringed when a certain Austrian pianist came to mind.

She finished her breakfast quickly and was about to start the chores when she heard the phone ring.

"Hello?" She said, answering the phone.

"VASSUUUUPPP!" A familiar, grating voice assaulted her ears. "IT IS I, ZHE AWESOME GILBERT!"

"Ugh…" Roxanne groaned. "Hello, Gilbert.."

Roxanne could see the Prussian pouting on the other end of the phone. "I don't zhink I like your tone, fraulein. It is very un-awesome."

"It's too early to be awesome. Now what do you want?"

"It is _never_ too early to be awesome. Vhere is bruder? I've been trying to call him for over an hour and zhe dummkompf von't answer his phone. Vhat can be more important zhan me, zhe Awesome Gilbert?"

"He's at a World Conference meeting." She said.

"A meeting?" He said. "Pfft. Meetings are so boring and un-awesome. Lucky for me, I don't have to go~. I can do all zhe awesome stuff I vant~. Vhich reminds me. I'm going to an awesome party tonight. Vant to come?"

"Sorry Gilbert, but I think I'm going to stay in tonight."

Gilbert huffed. "Hmph. You and bruder are two peas in a boring pod of un-awesomeness. Vhatever. A langweilige Schlampe like you vould just cramp my awesome style anyvay. Now if you'll excuse me frau, I have more awesome zhings to do. Later!"

With that, he hung up. No goodbye, no "Have a nice day!" He just hung up. Typical Gilbert.

Roxanne sighed, and shook her head. "I don't know how Ludwig puts up with that dummkompf.. Maybe I should call Ludwig and let him know his brother called."

With the phone still in her hand, she dialed Ludwig's cell phone number. She waited for a few seconds before she heard a strange buzzing noise. The buzzing was loud, meaning that whatever was making it was in the kitchen. After looking around, she found the source of the buzzing; Ludwig's cell phone. It was sitting on the counter, along with a paper bag, which contained his lunch; his lunch that she slaved over a hot stove for.

"No wonder he isn't answering." Roxanne grumbled and hung up the phone. "I should go bring these to him."

After getting dressed in the usual blouse and skirt, Roxanne grabbed the phone and the paper bag, and caught a taxi to take her to the World Conference building. After a while, she finally reached it.

It was hard to miss, after all; it's the World Conference building, of course it's going to be big and flashy. She paid the cabbie and walked up the steps. Two guards were at the front door, and held their arms out to stop her.

"Sorry miss, you can't go in there." The one on the left said. "Only nations are allowed inside."

"It's not a big deal, really." She said. "My boss forgot a couple things, and I just wanted to bring them to him."

He didn't budge. "Sorry miss. Nations only."

"You have to leave now." The second guard ordered.

Roxanne narrowed her eyes at the guards. "I don't think you heard me. My boss forgot a couple things when he left the house this morning, and I want to bring them to him. You don't want me to disappoint my boss… _do you_?"

A dark aura swirled around her, scaring the guards and giving them the urge to run crying to their mothers; something Ivan does on a daily basis.

"O-Of course not." The first guard stammered.

"Go right ahead, miss." Said the second guard.

They stepped aside to clear a path for her.

Roxanne smiled, as if the last few seconds never happened. "Thank you. I knew you two fine gentlemen would listen to reason. Have a nice day~."

She walked past the guards and into the building. Immediately she headed towards the boardroom. She didn't have to worry about finding it; she could just follow the sounds of the nations arguing. Sure enough, she caught the sound of Alfred's voice (there's no way she _couldn't_ have heard him) and followed it. Soon she was at the door to the board room, and any arguments she heard before were a lot louder now.

Things got quiet when there was a knock on the door, and Roxanne stepped inside.

"Hello everyone." She greeted.

"Yo, Roxy, what's up?" Alfred greeted enthusiastically, waving at her.

"What are you doing here, Roxanne?" Arthur asked. "You know only nations are allowed here."

"Oh, I know. I'm here because my boss is a scatterbrain."

As the other nations laughed at this, Ludwig's eyebrow twitched.

"You forgot your phone this morning." She said, walking over to Ludwig and setting his phone in front of him. "Gilbert called you a few times. I'm sure he left you some _very_ interesting messages."

"Wunderbar.." Ludwig muttered sarcastically.

Roxanne turned to leave, but stopped herself when she remembered something. "One more thing before I go." She put the paper bag in front of him, right next to the phone. "You forgot your lunch. Have a nice day, Mr. Beilschmidt~."

With that, she said goodbye to the other nations and left the room. Just as soon as she shut the door, Alfred broke out into one of his 'hero laughs.' "She makes your lunch for you? Dude, what is she, like, your mom, or something?"

"I, for one, think making someone's lunch for them is a very thoughtful gesture." Arthur said, giving the American a harsh look.

"I know I wouldn't mind if a pretty lady made me lunch every day." Francis threw in his two cents, with sparkles floating around him as he spoke. "It is so simple, yet full of so much tender love and care. Making someone's lunch for them isn't just thoughtful. It is a sign of love, _non_~?"

"What would you know about love, frog-face?" Arthur snapped.

"More than you do! Need I remind you that the most romantic city in the world lies in my heart! Paris! The city of love! _Vive amour_~!"

"Pipe down! Nobody wants to hear your senseless drivel!"

"Like you're one to talk about 'senseless drivel,' crumpet-breath!"

"That's it! I've had enough of your nonsense! Have at you!"

Without warning, Arthur dove out of his chair and attacked Francis, and the two tumbled to the floor. They wrapped their hands around each other's necks, attempting to strangle each other.

Yao sighed irritably. "Honestly, can't we go through one meeting without the two of you trying to kill each other, aru?"

Having heard everything from the other side of the door, Roxanne let out an amused chuckle.

"Well that was the highlight of my day. I'd better head off to work now."

She made her way out of the building, and on the way out, she bumped into someone. When she looked up and was about to apologise, she saw that there was no one there; at least, that's what she thought.

Standing in front of her, was none other than Matthew, Alfred's quiet, and often unnoticed, brother.

"Oops." Matthew said in his usual hushed voice. "Sorry, I wasn't looking where I - Oh! Roxanne. It's nice to see you."

Roxanne didn't notice him.

"What the…? Did I just bump into someone?"

"Um.. Yes, you bumped into me."

She still didn't hear him.

"I can't help but get the feeling that there's someone here.." She murmured to herself.

"I'm here." Said Matthew.

He poked her to try to get her attention, but she still hadn't noticed him.

"Wah! Did somebody just touch me? Am I going crazy?"

Matthew sweat-dropped. "Uh.. Roxanne…"

Roxanne's face suddenly went pale. "I-It's not a ghost, is it?"

"Roxanne.."

"Oh God, I hope it's not a ghost." She started to panic a little. "Ghosts give me the willies…"

"ROXANNE!" Matthew yelled; which just ended up being a little louder than his usual volume.

"Huh?" The redhead turned around, jumping when she saw Matthew standing in front of her. "Oh!" She exclaimed. "Mattie! It was just you. Don't scare me like that. For a second there, I thought you were a ghost.. Wait. Shouldn't you be at the Conference?"

Matthew smiled sheepishly. "I am, but I'm running a little late. I'm sure the others won't mind. They don't really pay attention to me anyway.."

"That's because you're quiet, Mattie. You need to speak up more."

"I know.. But it's hard when your brother is the biggest loudmouth in the history of forever…" When he realized what he just said, he added, "Don't tell Alfred I said that.."

Roxanne waved it off. "Don't worry about it. Now hurry up and go to the meeting."

Matthew nodded and went inside, and Roxanne caught another taxi to take her back home; to the library to be more specific. When she got there, she got a firm scolding by her boss for being over twenty minutes late.

…

It ended up being a _very_ long day.

After several hours, Roxanne was finally able to return home. As soon as she stepped in the door, she was greeted by Ludwig's three dogs; a German Shepherd named 'Blackie,' a Doberman named 'Berlitz,' and a Hovawart named 'Aster.' The three dogs were barking and jumping up and down enthusiastically.

"Okay boys, settle down."

The dogs continued barking.

"That's enough now, be quiet." She ordered.

They were still barking.

She gave them another order, this time in German. "Beruhigen Sie sich!"

Immediately, the dogs stopped barking.

"Gut." She pointed to the other room. "Gehen Sie jetzt legen sich hin."

The dogs obeyed her and left the room to find a place to lie down.

She sighed. "I've been here for years, and I still forget that those dogs only understand German.." She looked a the clock. "Ludwig will be home soon. I'd better get dinner started."

Roxanne went into the kitchen and started cooking dinner, and made liverwurst for Ludwig and something else for herself. When she was done cooking, she ate her dinner while she left Ludwig's to simmer so it'd still be warm when he got home. She finished her dinner quickly and started on the dishes, but stopped when she heard the front door open and the dogs started barking again, signaling that her boss was home. She heard him quiet the dogs by saying something in German, then she heard his footsteps get louder as he approached the kitchen.

"Begrüßen Sie nach Hause, Ludwig." She greeted when Ludwig entered the kitchen. "How did the meeting go?"

"Same as alvays." Ludwig drawled. "Arthur and Francis started fighting after you left, and zhen more arguments broke out and nozhing got resolved… again."

"It's been a long day for both of us." Roxanne said, recalling her unpleasant day at the library. "You'll feel better after you have something to eat. I made you sausage~."

"I know." Ludwig mused at the thought of his favorite meal. "I could smell it vhen I walked in."

Ludwig went over to the stove and filled his plate with the sausage, then sat down at the table.

"Would you like some beer?" Roxanne asked.

"Not right now." He said. "I vould prefer not to drink in front of you."

"Oh, right. You get angry when you drink. Would you like anything else?"

"It's alright, Roxanne. I'd rather just have zhe sausage."

"Kessesesesese!" Both Ludwig and Roxanne cringed at the annoying laugh, and suddenly a certain Prussian had appeared in the room; almost by magic. Yes, he can appear in a room at random. He's just that awesome. "Speaking of sausage, zhat's a big piece you got zhere, bruder. You're not compensating for anyzhing, are you~?"

Ludwig blushed. "_Vhat_?" He exclaimed.

Gilbert chuckled. "Looks like I vas right~. You are compensating for somezhing~."

"I'm not compensating for anyzhing, Gilbert!"

The albino patted his flustered brother on the shoulder. "Don't vorry bruder, it's common for men vith inadequacies to compensate for zhem. I don't have zhat problem; I'm too awesome to vorry about somezhing stupid like zhat. You must feel inadequate - having someone as awesome as me for a sibling - because you have zhis really hot assistant and you haven't even _attempted_ to sex her up. How lame is zhat?"

Roxanne froze as she was washing the dishes, her face turning red; both from embarrassment and irritation. She wasn't the only one. Ludwig's face was even redder.

"I know if _I_ had an assistant as hot as yours, I would have boned her a loo~oong time ago~."

Gilbert ducked just in time to avoid a potato that Roxanne had thrown at him.

"You missed me, frau~." He taunted.

"If you're going to mention me in conversation, I'd prefer it if you didn't do it _while I'm still in the room_." Roxanne growled.

"Don't get mad, Schätzchen. You should be flattered zhat zhe awesome me zhinks you're attractive."

"Oh yeah, I'm _real_ flattered." She growled sarcastically. "Don't you have somewhere to go? Like that party you were telling me about earlier?"

"I vas just getting ready to go. Like I vant to be around a couple of boring losers like you. Later!"

With that, Gilbert left the room, leaving Ludwig and Roxanne both flustered and irritated.

"Well that was interesting." Roxanne finished up the dishes and dried off her hands. She started walking out of the room, and stopped at the door. "If you need me Ludwig, I'll be reading. There's nothing like a good book to get an uncomfortable conversation out of your head~."

Ludwig sat there at the table for a few seconds before he said, "… You know vhat, Roxanne? I zhink I'll have zhat beer."

…

…

**Fraulein:** young lady

**Frau:** woman

**Dummkompf:** blockhead

**Bruder:** brother

**Langweilige Schlampe:** boring frump

**Wunderbar:** Wonderful

**Mon ami:** my friend

**Non:** no

**Vive amour:** Long live love

**Beruhigen Sie sich:** Quiet

**Gut. Gehen Sie jetzt legen sich hin:** Good. Now go lie down

**Begrüßen Sie nach Hause:** Welcome home

**Schätzchen:** Sweetheart


End file.
